Starbucks Does Not Sell Life Skills

Starbucks is weird, it's like its own little world. It has its own music, its own language, its own cool mood lighting. But I found the things you learn in Starbucks world can't really help you in the real world. I was at the bar and I ordered a Venti Gin and Tonic. Did you know that, apparently, Venti means 20? Yeah, crazy, huh. Having 20 shots of Gin was a pretty intense experience. I may or may not have fucked a goat, I dunno, things got a little fuzzy around shot 6 or 7.